Due to popular request, I’ve decided to explain what life is like for our ridiculously spoiled hamsters…from Brownie’s point of view.
12 AM: Start my workout. Must run a 5k tonight. Training for Hamster Invitationals.
12:22 AM: Need a drink and a nap. So tired.
12:59 AM: Hungry again. Where did I leave my stash of sunflower seeds? Why do they always bring me these alfalfa sticks? I’d rather eat my shavings.
1:05: More running. My Nemesis is on his wheel, too. Must. Run. Faster.
1:32 AM: That’s enough running. I wonder if I climb up these bars, could I push the top off? Maybe the Curly Girl forgot to lock the cage.
1:33 AM: Darn. She locked it. Maybe I’ll just shake the bars for a while. Or maybe I’ll take a nap.
4:45 AM: Can’t believe I slept this long! Must hurry before the Alpha Male turns on the lights. Stuff my left cheek, slurp some water, and take my last run. Nemesis appears to be asleep.
5:00 AM: Dang! He woke up early! Maybe I can fall asleep before he notices I’m awake. Too late! On second thought, maybe Alpha will make me some eggs. Look cute so he’ll pick me up.
5:01 AM: It worked! Ha ha, Nemesis, I’m cuter than you, and I’m getting eggs.
5:02 AM: No eggs. Look uninterested.
5:03 AM: Back to my nest. Figure I have 2 hours until Small Noisy People bother me.
7:01 AM: Oh no, the Noisy People are walking around upstairs. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5….
7:02 AM: Good thing I wasn’t asleep. Favorite Noisy Person is taking me somewhere. Maybe she’ll feed me? Nope. I wonder whose bed I’m in….
7:19 AM: Why is the Tall Lady screaming at me?! It’s not like I pooped in her bed.
7:20 AM: Back to the nest.
7:30 AM: I’m in the ball. Must get into the pantry!
7:40 AM: Must sleep. After I eat some more.
5:45 PM: That was a great sleep! Stretch for a minute and shoot Nemesis a withering look. Oh good, my Favorite Noisy Person is in the room. Pick me up! Pick me up!
5:51 PM: Munch on a 6-inch spear of cucumber until Tall Lady takes it away from me and yells at my Favorite Person for taking the family’s dinner. Am I not family, too?
5:55 PM: Oooh, I’m getting weighed tonight. I wonder if I’ve put on any muscle lately. Yes! 174 grams. I am way buffer than Nemesis.
9 PM: Guess I’ll get up for the night. On second thought, I’ll just get some water and take another nap.
9:15 PM: Nemesis is on his wheel. Can’t he see I need my sleep?
11 PM: Need to get my miles in. Schedule says intervals, but I’m feeling more like a long slow run.
11:30 PM: Great workout. Need to refuel with some protein. Where did I stash those seeds? Yes! A sunflower!