For the past decade, I’ve entertained friends and family with the highlights of our family’s life. Okay, mostly I just retell funny stories that will one day embarrass my three beautiful daughters. A ridiculous number of people have suggested that I write my stories down–or, as my mother frequently requests, write a book–before I forget them. Yes, I was an English major, and yes, I taught high school English for five years. But write a book? Keep a blog? Those things take time. For the past decade, the aforementioned children have been using up all of my time. They want me to feed them, find their missing shoes, and explain complicated subjects to them. (I’ll save this tidbit for a later post on why I don’t own a smart phone, or why I’m not going to spend $200 every month to Google “world’s largest rock” or “world’s fattest hamster.”) Oh, and I forgot to mention that six years ago, we decided that I would homeschool our girls; actually, that was supposed to be a two-year commitment to one child, but that is also another topic. So this afternoon I find myself sitting on my front porch with my laptop. As I stared down a couple of brazen squirrels who were eying the contents of the bird feeder, I realized that I had some time today. After all, tonight’s swim meet (Future Topic #3) was canceled for “technical reasons.”
This morning as I was telling my oldest child that tonight’s meet had been canceled, she pressed me for details on those “technical reasons.” Really, those were the only words that the email listed. I told her that my guess is that the computer timing equipment is probably not working. Instantly I knew that some outrageous comment was working its way out of her mouth. Call it mom’s intuition. She adroitly replied, “Yeah, like if swimmers get into the pool with the broken equipment, they could get electrocuted.” Is that really the most likely scenario? Nope. Is this exactly the reason I love this child so much? “Exactly,” I told her.